Wednesday, March 9, 2011

121. Catatan Raden Galoh sebelum 'dijemput Illahi'. AlFatihah

KJEE cukup tersentuh membaca catatan dari hati allahyarham Raden Galoh. Tak tahulah kjee samada ini nama sebenarnya. Arwah adalah seorang pesakit kanser payudara yang cuba bertahan menggunakan segala kaedah yang ada. Bagaimanapun, beliau gagal dalam pertarungannya.
(Nama sebenar allahyarham adalah Dalila Tamrin dan berasal dari Banting, Selangor)

Kjee copy paste catatan terakhir beliau untuk tatapan semua. banyak lagi tulisan beliau yang boleh dijadikan panduan kepada kita semua. Kjee tak tahu siapa harus kjee minta kebenaran untuk menyiarkan catatan terakhir beliau ini. mohon ampun kepada warisnya. nawaitu kjee hanya untuk semua wanita sedar betapa tabahnya arwah mengharungi detik2 akhir hidupnya melawan kanser.

seandainya ada waris yang tidak setuju dengan cara kjee mengambil tanpa kebenaran, sila beritahu dan kjee akan memadamnya. ikuti blognya disini

Saturday, June 19, 2010

Too Many in Too Little

It has been 3 weeks that I have not updated this blog. My condition was bad and I am still not well. Today, with heavy head I try to write and see if I can complete it and publish it. Bismillaahirrahmaanirrahiim...

I was okay for 2 days after taking the herbal concoction given by the Traditional & Complementary Medicine Unit of Putrajaya Hospital. After that series and bouts of pains and fever start to increasingly reducing my ability to get up and move around.

The pain came on my left shoulder and abdomen troubled my sleep. I would get 15 mins of sleep and that's the most. The pain became intense and excruciating that I have nothing else in my mind except pledging for Allah's mercy and love to reduce the pain. I seldom talk, in fact I became some who was not bubbly at all. People don't see my pain and I have not had that sick face so they don't quite figure out why I hardly can't move around or I became so quiet and most of the time I dwell in my world. My world of zikrullaah actually.

Alhamdulillah, my family understands my condition. My children helped me walk to the bathrooms. They took turn serving me and making sure I don't move to the kitchen to send the plates. They vacuum the house because they know there are many visitors coming. My mother cooks for me. They all become a clear evidence of the many blessing bounty that Allah still provided me for....Alhamdulillah...

The fever was odd. It came at 3 pm and subsided by night and flared up again by 3am.... With the pain and the fever, to push myself about living my life to the fullest was really hard. All I have hope. Hope that becomes a prayer. A prayer that Allah cures all pains and fever. I am still thankful, even in this difficulties my hope and my prayers didn't get washed away. Yet, they heightened and I am so much in this believe that Allah is very close to me because I feel so calm and at peace even when I battled my pains and fever.

Hubby said I moaned in my little sleep but I was like uttering istighfar most of the time. I understand the power of istighfar and zikr in times like this. It is not making me thinking about death but it is making me feeling the love of Allah embracing me.

My upper stomach has started to protrude. That's the sign of the stretching liver. The cancers cause it to happen. Like the pain too. The cancers in the liver cause it to occur. Yesterday, the Oncologist gave me the steroid of Dexamethasone for a week to reduce the stretching liver and hopefully will reduce the pain. I was given some sleeping pills so that I can I can sleep well and my body can rest. Otherwise, the sleep deprivation will make me losing energy by day time and that make the body easily tired, like what I was feeling for the past 3 weeks.

I have stopped taking the herbal concoction as told the MO that it defeats the objective of the complementary unit which is to increase the quality of life of the chronic patient. In my case it has proven to aggravate its decline. I want to continue doing my way, InsyaAllah Allah will guide me.

Alhamdulillah, last night I slept well and not get disturbed by the pain. I didn't even complete my 100 zikr of Hasbiyal Allaahi wa nikmal wakeel. Today, I am feeling fresher and able to sit longer. So far typing this entry seems fine with me. The heavy head has gone by now. Syukur...

Today, I will have many visitors. I have been getting many these past weeks. Alhamdulillah, thank you all for making your time coming to visit me. There are so many fadhilats in visiting the sick. I have not forgotten to pray to each of you that Allah forgives all your sins and shower His many barakah and rahmah in your life.

Alhamdulillah, the preparation for the Umrah trip is slowly in order. Alhamdulillah I will be accompanied by my darling hubby MH in the trip. I am taking this opportunity to seek forgiveness from all of you for the wrongdoings I have done. Maybe my tone of writing is not to your liking. Maybe my way of giving nasihat and reminder is not fancied by you. Maybe my way of expressing me thoughts and experiences is not in your favour.

Let's hope this is not the final entry. Should it be, I hope it becomes an avenue that people seek for some good guidance, InsyaAllah.

God bless you all.


5 comments:

Anonymous said...

Sebuah pengalaman yang menyayat hati..semuga Allah mengampun segala dosa beliau dan menempatkan rohnya dikalangan roh yang beriman serta beramal saleh..amin.alfatihah..

suriah

norazabri said...

as salam kjee..arwah Dalilah Tamrin adalah rakan sekolah suami saya di sekolah menengah sains selangor cheras ( junior setahun)...saya selalu baca FB dia melalui FB suami saya..hari2 ada catatan perjalanannya sepanjang sakitnya...mmg sedih membacanya dan saya berpeluang berjumpa dgnnya( dlm bulan Mei tahun lepas)ketika menghadiri perkahwinan rakan SMSS mereka di Bangsar.Masa ni dia bergambar sakan dgn rakan2, dan nampak happy sangat..
Kadang2 dia menyatakan rasa kesakitan yg ditanggungnya dlm FB beliau. Bila mendapat berita dia meninggal di HKL dari suami, saya menangis...ingatkan dapat pergi menziarah tapi tak dapat, suami ada meeting urgent masa tu..arwah dikebumikan di kampungnya di Kampung Labuhan Dagang (kalau tak silap sayalah,dekat2 Dengkil) saya terus baca fb dia dan menatap wajah2 arwah yang kebanyakannya sentiasa tersenyum. Ada satu album yang mempaparkan wajah2 ahli keluarganya ketika mendapat berita arwah mendapat kanser. Memang sedih dan sayu melihatnya. Kalau tak silap Nora, arwah ada mencipta satu lagu khas sempena kanser ni...semoga arwah di cucuri rahmat dan di tempatkan di kalangan orang2 yang sedikit..al fatihah buat arwah Dalilah Tamrin

Kak Ezza@makcik blogger said...

Nama nya Dalilah Tamrin...

Saya ada menulis mengenai pemergian nya tahun lepas...http://bilaakukenangkenangkan.blogspot.com/2010/07/pulang-nya-seorang-yang-bernama-dalilah.html bila baca balik saya menangis balik..setiap kali saya nak ke Nilai..pasti melalui kampung nya di Kg labohan Dagang,kenangan bersama dia menjelma kembali...

Alfatihah buat beliau...

Anonymous said...

alfatihah......sedih kjee itu je yang dapat d katakan

sharifah rosidah said...

al-fatihah keatas arwah Dalila Tamrin, aku tahu kisah dia daripada kawan blogger aku Anie. Tak sanggup aku membaca cerita dia, sangat menyayat hati.

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